Jack seemed really off the last few weeks. I’m glad we’re going camping because I think he needs some fresh air. He never shuts himself off to me, and for some reason, he’s been doing that more and more often.
I was so glad mom decided to sing around the campfire tonight. Her voice is so beautiful! Jack even joined in, so this camping trip was a great idea!
Jack and I were sharing a tent for the weekend as we do most everything in our lives. Being twins has that effect, I guess. Mom and dad always have us doing things together and sharing ideas like toys, our room; we do the same sports together. The only thing they don’t make us share – like other twins – is our clothes.
Mom said once that when we were babies, they had to put us in different clothes, otherwise they got us confused. Sometimes I wonder if my name is supposed to be Jack and Jack is supposed to be Jacob. We do like playing that game sometimes! Tricking them into thinking we’re the other twin. Mom hates it, but dad thinks it’s hilarious.
I fell asleep soon after we were done with s’ mores. All that singing and eating made me tired. I sure hope Jack can get some sleep!
It felt like I was only asleep for 5 minutes when I heard what sounded like pacing outside. I heard the leaves and twigs crunching. It made me nervous, and I didn’t see Jack when I woke up, so I got up to investigate.
With my flashlight, I slowly tip-toed to where I heard the pacing. Before I got too close, I turned off my flashlight. I didn’t want whatever it was to get spooked and come after me. It could be a bear or something for all I knew!
Then I heard it. First, a WHOOSH sound like someone, or something, was swinging a branch or twig or something. Then it was a crack. Did the branch break? What was that?
As I got closer, I realized it was Jack. But what was he swinging at? Was there a wild animal coming after our campsite?!
I was frozen in place as I watched my brother beat the crap out of some poor girl. He just kept swinging and swinging. Why was he swinging still?! Jack, you killed her! Jack stop! JACK STOP MOVING YOUR ARMS!
The words never left my mouth, but it was like he heard me. He stopped suddenly.
I’ve never seen him like this.
He didn’t move.
Was he just staring at what he did? Maybe he feels terrible.
He didn’t feel bad.
I could feel my heartbeat again, and I was finally able to move my arms and legs.
“Jack…” I whispered. He turned around, still smiling, and looked at me.
“Jacob, you’re awake.”
“Jack, what did you do? Why were you beating that girl?”
“Oh, this girl? She was disrespectful. I asked her nicely to quiet down the party over there, and she laughed at me. Called me a twerp.”
“But Jack, you didn’t have to kill her, did you?”
“How else was I going to keep her quiet? I didn’t mean to wake you. Mom and dad didn’t wake up, did they?”
I couldn’t process what was happening. My brother, my twin, just killed someone. Without even a second thought. How didn’t I sense this? I can sense everything between us. Did he block me out?
“Jacob, you look upset.”
“I’m not upset; I’m confused. And why are you still smiling?!”
“Oh, I didn’t realize I was still smiling. I don’t know; it just felt so good. I feel so much more alive! You know how I always tell you I don’t get joy out of the same things you do? I get joy out of this, Jacob! It was thrilling, invigorating!”
“You know this is wrong. Killing people? Killing people is wrong.”
“Killing good people is wrong. She was a bad person. She made fun of me; she was a bully. You’re going to choose a bully over your twin?”
“I would never do that! You’re right. It’s better if it’s a bad person, I guess.”
Something’s wrong with him. What is wrong with him? I can’t let mom and dad find out; they’ll FREAK!
I had to think quickly because I could see the sun coming up. I grabbed Jack, and we went to the river to wash off the blood. He was covered in it…
We slowly crept back into our tent, and he put on some dry clothes. I was still trying to process what happened when Jack cleared his throat like he wanted to say something.
“Yes? Did you want to say something?”
“Don’t tell mom and dad what happened. I don’t want them freaking out. It wasn’t a big deal, and I just don’t want them to know about it. Let’s keep it between us. It wouldn’t be the first thing we kept from them. Remember the vodka you drank and filled with water to hide from dad? I never told a soul.”
Vodka isn’t the same as murder, but at this point, I was terrified he would do the same to me if he found out I even thought about telling anyone.
“Ok. Fine. I won’t tell mom and dad. But you have to promise me you won’t do this again, Jack.”
“Ugh, fine. I promise. Buzzkill.”
I didn’t believe him. Something in my gut told me this wouldn’t be the last time. Something also told me this might not have been the first time. He was too calm, too relaxed about the whole thing. I’m never going to be able to let him out of my sight. I hope he knows that.
In Jack’s mind:
He has to know I’m not going to stop. It might have been my first time, but it won’t be my last. I’ve never felt so alive in my life, and I don’t want that to end. He’ll understand the feeling I felt soon enough. He’ll know when he kills too, when he kills with me. Together, the two of us killing and taking care of the bullies, even if it takes the rest of our lives.
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